im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
