If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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