we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
