I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
