idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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