Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize