We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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