How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
