you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
