did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
