I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this boner is exhausting
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
