Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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