I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
