i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
