physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
