just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
