There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
