this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
