I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
