I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
