I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize