I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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