508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
