Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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