You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Farmville is her only friend.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Brb crying the tears of my youth
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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