I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize