Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
