Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
