How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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