Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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