i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
