9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize