i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
