exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
