yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
