She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
