I just cut my nipple shaving
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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