Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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