Did you just see the Batmobile???
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
