I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
