I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
