i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's blow job season.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
