well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
