There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
