Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
