My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize