Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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