Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize