the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
