Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
