my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I understand Curling. That high.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize