If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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