Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
