There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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