living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
