threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
