you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
