and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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