also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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