What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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