New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
