we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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