Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
