Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize