im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
