i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
