he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Sober January is a disaster.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
