writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She told me I should be a condom model.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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