:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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