All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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