Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
