i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
