I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
