She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
