In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
