He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
